E-mail Warnings – Just Say No.

You are most likely reading this because someone who cares about your well-being thought you needed to read this. They sent you here because you are being exploited, bamboozled and taken advantage of. You have a kind heart and care about others a lot and that is your Achilles’ heel.

Why did your friend, your co-worker, or your family member ask you to read this? Because you are a victim of an electronic chain mail.

Someone, probably thinking they were “doing the right thing”, sent you a message warning you about some computer virus, banking scam or some other thing of public interest. The e-mail sounds really credible because it tells you it was reported on CNN, Fox News or some other “legitimate” news institution (personally, I do question the legitimacy of these organizations, but I digress). If it is a warning about a computer virus, they’ll try to tell you that this information came from Google, Microsoft, AOL, Norton or some other well-known technology company. It may even try to convince the most skeptical reader by stating that “this has even been confirmed by Snopes”, with a link to a (supposed) Snopes.com article (for those of you not in the know: Snopes is a site that verifies/debunks urban legends and other outrageous claims).

Always be suspicious if these e-mails, even if it comes from someone you trust. The vast majority of the time, it’s a scam. Sometimes it is a scam from someone who is just having a little fun at your expense. Sometimes it is a scam that is using the e-mail to gather e-mail addresses and sell them for spamming purposes. Sometimes it is a scam being used to spread a real virus. In all cases, though, it is using one tried-and-true method of spreading itself around: the kindness of the average human being.

“I Feel So Stupid.”

Don’t feel stupid. Many friends of mine fall for this, and they are far from stupid. Sometimes, I am hesitant to approach my friends when this happens because I don’t want them to feel embarrassed that they have been scammed. You are not stupid, so don’t feel that way! Feel angry at the people who started the scam in the first place. They are not only wasting your time when you send out these e-mails, but they are destroying your good name online. How? Because the more you, and other people with good intentions like you send out these e-mails, the more times your e-mail address will be put in someone’s spam filter. It’s the reason why certain family members don’t answer your e-mails. It’s not because they don’t love you. It’s because they, themselves, don’t want to read electronic chain mail.

How To Fight Back!

There are some very simple things you can do to fight back:

1. Be very wary of e-mails that tell you to “send this to all your friends!” It is the most common phrase that causes e-mails like this to spread like the plague. If you see this phrase, you can be almost positive it is crap-mail.
2. When you see an e-mail like this, copy and paste a phrase from the e-mail and search for it in Google (or Bing, or whatever search engine you like). Look at the pages the search engine returns. If it’s a scam (and it almost always is), you’ll see web pages talking about how scammy it is.
3. If the e-mail says something like “This has been confirmed by X” where X is Fox News, CNN, Oprah or some other mainstream news organization, don’t take their word for it! Test out their claims by going to X’s official website and search for news about the e-mail’s warning on their site. You’ll see more often than not that there is nothing there because the e-mail you have received is a scam. (Note: Don’t click on any links on the e-mail that look like they would lead you to more info. They are probably fake and may (but not always) contain viruses or something equally as nasty).
4. You know that friend or family member that is good with computers? You know, that person that you always ask to fix your computer when ever you think you have a virus or have problems connecting to the net? The one that has either been online longer than you and has been a computer geek since he or she was 11? Call that person (call, don’t e-mail) and ask them if the warning is real. Listen to them if they tell you it’s a scam. Then, take them out for dinner for being such an awesome friend/family member and for being your personal pro-bono IT department all these years. Don’t cheap out and take them to McDonald’s or Denny’s either. Take them someplace decent, or better yet, make them dinner! Trust me, geeky people like me will be much happier to help you out next time if you do this. Ask my parents. I am always happy to fix their computers and my mom is also an excellent cook. Best pierogies you will ever taste from someone who was born and raised in Japan (or in the Ukraine, for that matter, but don’t tell them that).

In Conclusion

Don’t be a victim. Learn to uncover these hoaxes, and stop being the victim by blindly sending out e-mails. You and your loved ones will be better off!

Feel free to pass this along to others who you think it’ll benefit. But whatever you do, don’t send it in an e-mail that begs people to send it to everyone they know. If you do, I’ll be very disappointed in you.

With Lots of Respect,
Zoltan Hawryluk,
January 10, 2011.

P.S. You should also restrict yourself to forwarding one joke e-mail a month. Any more is way too much. Really.